Coaching Questions to Reconnect After Difficult Couple Convo
2024, April 9
One of my coachee couples inspired me to design debrief questions for after their conflict conversations. I’m sharing these debrief questions here. You can also use these questions for other relationships—friends, siblings, other family members, or colleagues—to reconnect after difficult conversations. The questions are designed to focus on the relationship’s strengths, resources, and hopes.
Here’s how it works: Both individuals first take a moment to reflect on the questions, and then take some time (about 5-10 minutes each) to share their answers.
One thing I appreciate about the difficult conversation we had.
A moment when I felt understood, heard, or seen by you during the difficult conversation.
One aspect where I feel I understand or hear you, or empathize with you better than before—or more than I might have expressed during the difficult parts of that conversation.
One learning I’m taking away that will help us co-create our preferred future together, help us move towards the change/improvement we’re both wishing for.
One thing I might need from you the next time we have a difficult conversation, or one way you could make the next conversation a bit easier for me at the start.
One thing that makes me (even more) confident that we can move towards our preferred future — that we can move towards the change/improvement we’re both hoping for.